Bouncy Bessy

Talk about your dogs, seek advice and share experiences.

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Bold Barney
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

Post by Bold Barney »

I’ve resscued , fostered and transported but need some bereavement support
Julia, Bold Barney and Bouncy Bessy
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Bold Barney
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

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Bold Barney wrote:No one has,replied or helped ....I don’t understand
Julia, Bold Barney and Bouncy Bessy
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Bold Barney
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

Post by Bold Barney »

I’m so upset why can no one help
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Bouncy Bessy

Post by Bold Barney »

Still no,replies
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

Post by Hazel »

I was bereft when I lost Gus who was not from MKF but a very close companion.
But I did nothing with the ashes for two years.
Then I had an idea he had loved the cat so much so two years after his death I placed the ashes in where the cat had been buried.
A few months later a beautiful red poppy bloomed there I wrote about this in the note on here entitled Gussies' poppy.
No seed had been sown purposely but it bloomed for one day on the 11 of the month of November.
Hazel
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

Post by autumndays »

Bold Barney wrote:How do you come to terms with the death of your beautiful Labrador ...I can’t stop crying ..and the house seems so empty even though we have the Bold Barney ..he has been more relaxed since she passed ..it’s so confusing and distressing.
We had Bessy cremated but I can’t bear to open the box. I don’t know what to do .
Dear Julia,
I'm so so sorry that you are in such distress. I have lost 3 Labradors in the past but even so it never gets easier when the time comes to say goodbye. Rest assured that the feelings of loss and distress that you have are completely natural. Bessy was a huge part of your life and now that she is gone there is bound to be this yawning gap in your life. Unfortunately none of my labs passed peacefully at home and I had to make that final trip to the vets to end their pain. It is a duty that we must all do if we love our dogs. They give us so much love and in return we must end their suffering when the time comes. Even so I can still remember my feelings afterwards of the finality of that decision and wishing that I would give everything for one more day.

How did I get over the bereavement? It takes time, Julia. Let the tears come. If you have friends who are dog owners talk to them if you can. They will understand whereas people who are not dog owners never will. Talk to Bold Barney about how you feel and give him a hug. Believe me he will help comfort you.

As for Bessy's ashes - there is no rush. Try to put the box away somewhere safe in your home and when you feel strong enough spend some time to think of what is best to do. Do you have a garden with a favourite spot where she used to rest or perhaps a special walk that you take each day where they could be scattered?

Give yourself time to grieve, Julia.

I know its late but if you want to talk I'll be around for a few hours yet.

Thinking of you. Paul
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

Post by labradora »

Dear Julia,
I have sent you a PM.
Sending much love, and my heartfelt sympathy, :cry3:
Linda xxx
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

Post by Liz5353 »

Dear Julia
The lovely post from Paul and Skye, I hope will help,we all understand what you are going through at the moment.
We as individuals all deal with things differently and feeling the way you do is very difficult, but also remember that Barney will also be grieving and he will also pick up on your grief, so try to support each other.
It never gets any easier, we have here at our house all our 14 dogs that we have had to say goodbye to, I do find that comforting, I chat to them quite often.
In March 2015 I had to say goodbye to Harriet, I was heartbroken, she is still here in one of the bedrooms in her little box, we chat a lot and I have a photo of her in the lounge, I put fresh flowers beside her photo every week.
We have always taken another rescue dog,sometimes quite quickly other times in a little while, I personally have found that this helps, but this is a very individual thing.
As we have not had any family our dogs have been and are very very precious, and saying goodbye has been very very hard, but as a responsible owner you know that one day this has to happen and it is the right and proper thing to do for our very special companions.
Bessy will remain in your heart forever and your love for her will do the same.
Keep strong Julia, we are thinking of you and sending love
Liz Shelly Bonnie Molly Polly :love2: :bighug: for Barney
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

Post by Glenys »

So very sorry to hear of the sad loss of the beautiful Bessy.
It s impossible to describe the sad loss and sheer grief felt or how to deal with it it can be different for may people some feel they need a new friend soon to others it takes time, some never do .
I do not think we ever get over the loss we just keep sweet memories in our heart ,cry many tears and even smile ( eventuality) at the things they did.

Every day I see Labradors coming through rescue and yet the loss of our lovely Nell in September is still to raw for me to bring one into our life just yet I know one will come but will also know when that time is right.

A piece of our hearts go with every dog we have loved and lost that is a given.

Big hugs for you Julia xxx
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

Post by Joe + Hilary »

I think now people have responded to you on facebook. You mentioned above about the ashes, you don't need to open the box or feel you have to be in a hurry to do anything. Just give yourself time and eventually you will know how you want to treat Bessy's ashes. I still have all four of my first dogs. At first I couldn't bear the thought of parting with them, now I am just waiting and hoping to get back to Wales to set them free (or at least the 1st wo) at one of their favorite walk places. Be kind to yourself and take things slowly.

Hilary, Rowley & Douma
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

Post by 12_paws »

Julia I've just seen your posts and am so very, very sorry for your loss of your beloved Bessy and the pain and distress that you are feeling. In my experience, the grief felt for a beloved companion can be as intense as that felt for the loss of a human friend or relative, you've shared so much together. I read somewhere 'Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It’s okay to be angry, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you’re ready'. I think Paul is right when he says, if you have friends who are dog owners talk to them if you can, I think that they do understand as others can't. And Barney.......hug him and stroke those ears.
You mentioned Bessy's ashes - I still have Zak, Kobe, Max and Rosie safe in the spare bedroom, I haven't yet felt able to let go - maybe I never will. On the other hand, friends have chosen a favorite place walked together or beneath the apple tree in their garden............this is so personal a choice that you should do whatever feels right for you, when you feel able. For now your girl is home where she belongs and there is no rush to make decisions.
Thinking of you,
Sleep tight Bessy,
Des x
Des x

Desley and Finn
Harley & Diesel, safe in my heart
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Re: Bouncy Bessy

Post by Emma T »

Dear Julia

I'm so sorry for the loss of Bessy. It breaks our hearts to say goodbye to our beloved friends. As Liz also said for some of us who do not have children they are everything. From experience I would agree with the advice about seeking out "dog friends". Those people will understand and will give you the compassion and empathy you need. When my barney died I couldn't have beared to be near non animal lovers who may have been dismissive about "just a dog".
Please don't think that as you didn't get speedy automatic replies that people don't care. This site is quieter now and I'm guilty of not coming on here as much as I should and would like to. People care very much and obviously on here we have a shared bond of our love of dogs.
Please do find comfort in Barney. I watched our Poppy visibly and distressingly grieve for Barney, they feel it too.

Thinking of you x
Emma
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