Girly Wisdom

[Aileen]

Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down
>>and
>>forget where they left them.
>>
>>One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make
>>a
>>woman gain 5lbs.
>>
>>My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
>>
>>The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
>>
>>The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't
>>know
>>what you are doing, someone else does.
>>
>>The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by
>>then,
>>your body and your fat are really good friends.
>>
>>
>>
>>Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
>>
>>Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain
>>consciousness.
>>
>>
>>
>>I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing
>>together and
>>setting fire to my knickers.
>>
>>Every 7 minutes of everyday, someone in an aerobics class pulls a
>>hamstring.
>>
>>Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it
>>shrinks 2
>>sizes!
>>
>>Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things
>>like..."You
>>know, sometimes I forget to eat!" ......Now... I've forgotten my
>>address, my mother's maiden name and my keys. But I have never
>>forgotten
>>to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
>>
>>A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control
>>pills... She
>>has 14 kids but doesn't really care.
>>
>>My body is not all that communicative but I heard from it the other
>>day
>>after I said "Body, how would you like to go to the six o'clock
>>class of
>>vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said "Listen witch.....do
>>it
>>and die."
>>
>>The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about
>>nothing
>>and then they marry him.
>>
>>I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are:
>>eating
>>too much; impulse buying and driving too fast. Are they kidding?
>>That's
>>my idea of a perfect day!
>>