Showing your dog

A place for poems and odes - let your creative juices flow....

Moderator: Forum Moderators

Showing your dog

Postby tosca100 » 06 Aug 2009, 18:32

This was sent by a work colleague:

Maybe one for Abi - best read aloud in Pam Ayers style.


First time at a dog show, I'll tell you quite plain:
I'll never, no never go near one again!
The breeder said 'show him', when I brought my dog,
I showed him alright - the place was agog.

They gave me a number, they gave me a pin
But I couldn't bear to stick the thing in.
So I rushed to the shop and bought some clear glue,
Then I stuck the card to his back in the loo.

We arrived at the ringside to find we were first
In the puppy dog class (This part is the worst)
We walked in together as fast as we were able,
Arrived at the judge who said. 'Up on the table'.

This really surprised me, my skirt was quite tight,
And I couldn't quite make it, try as I might.
The judge looked a bit worried, he said 'Listen here
Put your dog on the table, not you my dear'

By now I was trembling, I felt such a fool
But I said to myself 'Just play it cool'
'How old?' asked the judge, I heard it quite clear
'Really' I thought and said. '30 next year'

The steward, poor fellow, threw some sort of fit
He spluttered, he coughed and his eyes ran a bit.
'I'd have that cough seen to,' I said to him when
He'd finally stopped. then he started again.

'Once round the ring dear, as fast as you can'
Said the judge, so I did, I just ran and ran.
But when I arrived back (out of breath I admit)
The judge said. 'With your dog dear' I felt such a twit.

Off round once again, I kept my head bent.
Oh the shame as my pup crouched, he just went and went.
A lady came running with bucket and spade
With manure so pricey has she got it made!

We came back to the judge, who said with a frown
'Stand your dog' - I said 'Please, Sir, he's not lying down'
'You can take first place stand' he said, and I said 'Ta'
What a job I had getting that stand in the car!!!



Dave, Sara & Bonnie
A dog naps so much because it loves so hard - Anonymous
User avatar
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 890
Joined: 03 May 2009, 20:30

Re: Showing your dog

Postby Garyt » 06 Aug 2009, 19:00

Can just see Abi at a dogshow being like that :1968: :1968:

Very Good :1951:
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 587
Joined: 19 Aug 2008, 22:19

Re: Showing your dog

Postby Lins » 06 Aug 2009, 19:28

Brilliant. I can also picture Abi. :1951: :1951: :bounce: :1966:

Lins, Molly and Scooby

A house isn't a home without at least one Labrador
User avatar
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 5001
Joined: 01 Nov 2008, 19:38

Re: Showing your dog

Postby Absdoodle » 06 Aug 2009, 21:06

LOL - I read it out loud in Pam Ayers styley, as requested :1966: (Beulah gave me a funny look or two).
I had several interuptions where I couldnt finish the line for laughing, :1967: :1967:

Fab poem, I love it - I wonder if I wear a skirt to the next show and try to get on the table, whether I would get a laugh or two or whether I would just get thrown out :1968: :1968:
Absdoodle :-)
User avatar
Senior User
Senior User
Posts: 562
Joined: 16 Oct 2008, 05:11
Location: Wrightington, Lancashire

Return to Poems

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest