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ATM

Posted: 07 Feb 2013, 06:00
by Garyt
MALE V FEMALE AT THE ATM

A new sign in the Bank reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'
*******************************
MALE PROCEDURE:

1... Drive up to the ATM

2. LOWER your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Raise window.

7. Drive off..

*******************************
FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to ATM machine.

2. Reverse and back up the
required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Put hand brake on, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all
contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on mobile phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN ...

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to
locate purse and place cash
inside.

17. Write debit amount in cheque book and place receipt in back of it.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to ATM
machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

25. Redial person on mobile
phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Hand Brake.
_________________________

Don,t blame me ladys for being sexist this was sent to me by a person off this site she does not want to be identified... :?

Re: ATM

Posted: 07 Feb 2013, 08:11
by mollymunch
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Alison x

Re: ATM

Posted: 07 Feb 2013, 09:56
by Lins
Time to fess up..................it was me. Sorry ladies.

Re: ATM

Posted: 07 Feb 2013, 10:49
by Willow
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Glad you confessed Linda.. before I pointed the finger :1968: :1968:

Re: ATM

Posted: 07 Feb 2013, 13:30
by Lindsay2011
Love it!

Re: ATM

Posted: 08 Feb 2013, 10:19
by playpen
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
We have the same plot at the local Asda diy drive thro petrol station.
The pumps have a built in ATM to pay for your fuel.
Sometimes the Ladies park and then find the filler cap is on the wrong side and then proceed to do a 3 point (or more) turn ,causing fear in the rest of us.

Re: ATM

Posted: 08 Feb 2013, 20:47
by Judynjake04
Love it
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Re: ATM

Posted: 08 Feb 2013, 21:47
by Diesel Kate
.

Glad you confessed Linda.. before I pointed the finger
My thoughts as well Joanne

Re: ATM

Posted: 09 Feb 2013, 14:53
by Maggies Dad
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Re: ATM

Posted: 09 Feb 2013, 16:56
by Lins
Diesel Kate wrote:
.

Glad you confessed Linda.. before I pointed the finger
My thoughts as well Joanne
I'm getting a complex now, as well as a reputation it seems. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Re: ATM

Posted: 13 Feb 2013, 11:16
by geddes
oh yes!!! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Geddes