Mystery, thy name is Woman
Posted: 12 May 2011, 19:30
WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, cheque or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remove?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I coulnd do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A Mans perspective)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it on to you upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
WIFE Vs HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,and pigs, the husband asked sarcasticlly, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
CREATION
A Man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain, God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you."
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realised that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper:
'Please wake me at 5:00am' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper tied to the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 8:00am. Wake up,'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rought draft before the masterpiece.
"Cash, cheque or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
"So, do you always carry your TV remove?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I coulnd do to him legally."
UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A Mans perspective)
I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it on to you upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
WIFE Vs HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,and pigs, the husband asked sarcasticlly, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, 'in-laws.'
CREATION
A Man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain, God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you."
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realised that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00am for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper:
'Please wake me at 5:00am' He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper tied to the bed.
The paper said, 'It is 8:00am. Wake up,'
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rought draft before the masterpiece.
