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Your Duck is Dead

Posted: 21 Jan 2010, 02:19
by Diesel Kate
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely,100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$1000!" she cried, "$1000 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $50, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $1000."


You know the drill ... if you're smiling, you must pass it on, give someone else a smile too! Share the laughter.

Re: Your Duck is Dead

Posted: 21 Jan 2010, 05:09
by tosca100
:1968: :1968: :1968: :1968: :1968:

That's woken me up!

Sara

Re: Your Duck is Dead

Posted: 21 Jan 2010, 05:52
by benjiesmum
:1966: :1966: :1966: :1966:

Re: Your Duck is Dead

Posted: 21 Jan 2010, 09:57
by Ann Mee
:1966: :1966: :1966: :1966: :1966: :1968: :1968:

Good grief look at the time you early birds have posted these comments! :2090:

Ann x

Re: Your Duck is Dead

Posted: 21 Jan 2010, 11:40
by janhind
:1966: :1966:

I think a lot of people on here have trouble sleeping :1961:

jan xx

Re: Your Duck is Dead

Posted: 21 Jan 2010, 12:50
by Diesel Kate
Good grief look at the time you early birds have posted these comments!
Look at the time it was posted :1966:

Re: Your Duck is Dead

Posted: 21 Jan 2010, 12:56
by Mad Maisie
Diesel Kate wrote:
Good grief look at the time you early birds have posted these comments!
Look at the time it was posted :1966:
Quakers!!!!!! :1967: :1967: :1967:

Gill, Meg and Maisie

:love2: :love2: :love2:

Re: Your Duck is Dead

Posted: 21 Jan 2010, 15:02
by tosca100
We get up at 4am every morning....doesn't everybody? :1967: Start work at 5,finish at lunch time.

Sara

Re: Your Duck is Dead

Posted: 21 Jan 2010, 16:06
by Mad Maisie
tosca100 wrote:We get up at 4am every morning....doesn't everybody? :1967: Start work at 5,finish at lunch time.

Sara
I thought I got up early at 6am - I think 4am would be pushing it mind you I often wake up at 5am and make us a cup of tea.

Gill.

Re: Your Duck is Dead

Posted: 21 Jan 2010, 20:42
by Ann Mee
tosca100 wrote:We get up at 4am every morning....doesn't everybody? :1967: Start work at 5,finish at lunch time.

Sara
Have been up at that time quite often to be in Ulverston for 6.30am. It nearly killed me! Could do it if I worked locally though, and be finished for lunch time. Sounds ok

Ann x