Ok, I'll start the ball rolling. This is one of my favourite Scottish poems, which I teach every year to my class. The children learn it off by heart and we often recite it, with half the class taking the part of the child and the other half taking the part of the dad. It was written by a Scots poet called Bill Keys. To get the full effect it has to read in a Scots accent. I can just picture our Scottish members reading it aloud
A DUG, A DUG
Hey,daddy, wid yi get us a dug?
A big broon Alsation? Ur a wee white Pug,
Ur a skinny wee terrier ur a big fat bull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Will ye?
N whose dugll it be when it durties the flerr?
and peesn the carpet,and messes the sterr?
Its me ur yur mammyll be taen fur a mug.
Away oot an play. Yur no needin a dug.
Bit, daddy? Thur gien thum away
doon therr at the SSPCA.
Yull get wan fur nothin so ye wull.
Aw daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
Doon therr at the SSPCA
Dae ye think ah've goat nuthin else tae dae
bit get you a dug that ahll huftae mind?
Yur no needin a dug. Ye urny blind!
Bit, daddy, there rerr fur guardin the hoose
an thur bettern cats fur catchin a moose,
an wee Danny's dug gies his barra a pull.
Aw, hey daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
Dae ye hear im? Oan aboot dugs again?
Ah hink that yins goat dugs oan the brain.
Ah know whit yell get; a skite on the lug
if ah hear any merr aboot this bliddy dug.
Bit daddy, it widnae be dear tae keep
N ahd make it a basket fur it tae sleep
N ahd take it fur runs away ower the hull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
Ah dont think thurs ever been emdy like you.
Ye could wheedle the twist oot a flamin coarkscrew.
Noo get doon aff mah neck. Ah dont want a hug.
Awright thats anuff. Ahll get ye a dug.
Aw daddy! A dug! A dug! :D
by Bill Keys