I'm bored (I think I'm going to be very dead)

[drexl1234]

How to use an ATM machine...
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6. Wind up window
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window to machine
3. Re-start stalled engine
4. Wind down the window
5. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passenger seat to locate card
6. Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
7. Attempt to insert card into machine
8. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car
9. Insert card
10. Re-insert card the right way up
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
12. Enter PIN
13. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
14. Enter amount of cash required
15. Re-check make-up in rear view mirror
16. Retrieve cash and receipt
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and put cash inside
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book
19. Re-check make-up again
20. Drive forward two metres
21. Reverse back to cash machine
22. Retrieve card
23. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into the slot provided
24. Re-check make-up
25. Re-start stalled engine and move off
26. Drive for 3 - 4 miles
27. Release hand brake

I want my mummy

[Blakey]

SO DEAD !!!


XXX

[janhind]

I hope you've got all your affairs in order Dave, will witnessed and such like. the time is drawing near.

jan xx

[Glenys]

so brave when 40 miles away you are in the

[carolb]

Don`t forget when it comes to fun day we all know what you look like! Silly idea to post your photo AND all these insults to women. I think we outnumber you greatly!!!

[Mad Maisie]

Oh Dear!!!! Oh Dear!!!! Oh Dear!!!!

[jackiem]

A poor unfortunate man Dave..........

A similar poor unfortunate man (car park attendant) once told me in a very condescending tone that if I had pulled up closer to the ticket machine, I wouldn't have had to get out of my car to pay. I retorted in a very stern manner that if the MAN who was supposed to have fixed my electric windows ON THE THIRD ATTEMPT had done his job properly, I wouldn't have to have parked so far away from the bleeping machine, open my door and get out to pay!!!!! I left him a quivering wreck. The poor unsuspecting soul, didn't know about the day I'd had and consequently the mood I was in.

Tread carefully Dave, tread very carefully.......