Your Duck is Dead
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Diesel Kate
- Senior User

- Posts: 2803
- Joined: 31 Aug 2007, 10:09
- Location: Cheshire
Your Duck is Dead
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely,100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$1000!" she cried, "$1000 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $50, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $1000."
You know the drill ... if you're smiling, you must pass it on, give someone else a smile too! Share the laughter.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely,100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$1000!" she cried, "$1000 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $50, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $1000."
You know the drill ... if you're smiling, you must pass it on, give someone else a smile too! Share the laughter.
Kath, Toby (Balee and Megan - Never out of my thoughts
)
- tosca100
- Senior User

- Posts: 889
- Joined: 03 May 2009, 20:30
Re: Your Duck is Dead
That's woken me up!
Sara
A dog naps so much because it loves so hard - Anonymous
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benjiesmum
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- Joined: 29 Dec 2007, 11:15
- Location: North Wales
- Ann Mee
- Senior User

- Posts: 2906
- Joined: 02 Aug 2009, 14:46
- Location: Tarleton, Lancashire
Re: Your Duck is Dead
Good grief look at the time you early birds have posted these comments!
Ann x
I wish everything in life was as lovely as my Labrador
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janhind
- Senior User

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- Joined: 20 Jul 2007, 14:04
- Location: Northumberland
Re: Your Duck is Dead
I think a lot of people on here have trouble sleeping
jan xx
It is never too late.
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Diesel Kate
- Senior User

- Posts: 2803
- Joined: 31 Aug 2007, 10:09
- Location: Cheshire
Re: Your Duck is Dead
Look at the time it was postedGood grief look at the time you early birds have posted these comments!
Kath, Toby (Balee and Megan - Never out of my thoughts
)
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Mad Maisie
Re: Your Duck is Dead
Quakers!!!!!!Diesel Kate wrote:Look at the time it was postedGood grief look at the time you early birds have posted these comments!
Gill, Meg and Maisie
- tosca100
- Senior User

- Posts: 889
- Joined: 03 May 2009, 20:30
Re: Your Duck is Dead
We get up at 4am every morning....doesn't everybody?
Start work at 5,finish at lunch time.
Sara
Sara
A dog naps so much because it loves so hard - Anonymous
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Mad Maisie
Re: Your Duck is Dead
I thought I got up early at 6am - I think 4am would be pushing it mind you I often wake up at 5am and make us a cup of tea.tosca100 wrote:We get up at 4am every morning....doesn't everybody?Start work at 5,finish at lunch time.
Sara
Gill.
- Ann Mee
- Senior User

- Posts: 2906
- Joined: 02 Aug 2009, 14:46
- Location: Tarleton, Lancashire
Re: Your Duck is Dead
Have been up at that time quite often to be in Ulverston for 6.30am. It nearly killed me! Could do it if I worked locally though, and be finished for lunch time. Sounds oktosca100 wrote:We get up at 4am every morning....doesn't everybody?Start work at 5,finish at lunch time.
Sara
Ann x
I wish everything in life was as lovely as my Labrador